It’s Tough Being Me

Where as other girls constantly plan their weddings even the ones who are single as fuck,

Planning their white wedding, their pristine white gown already chosen, coiffed hairstyle planned, long trailing veils with diamonds studs, pink reception dress already made

Me? Here I sit, randomly thinking of how I will wear a short black gown on my wedding day without scandalizing my mother and my big brother, wearing no veil because veils look itchy, and I don’t plan on hiding the work of art, which will be my perfectly up face with a veil anyway.

Wearing a handmade Etsy wooden ring engraved with my initials and his, wrapped in an infinity symbol or a pearl encrusted silver ring or a plain rose gold band, with my hair in braids and sneakers as wedding shoes, because, why not?

And I remember! Oh shit! I don’t have a boyfriend! Talk of a fiancé

So while other girls are surfing online shops, looking for pretty dresses and shoes to buy,

I am here, wondering if I will be able to find a good book online to read today, maybe a historical romance, a, sci-fi or a mystery

If I should get a takeout or cook at home or do none those and binge on chocolate chips cookies

If I can get enough money to buy makeup products, maybe the strobe lux highlighters, the Make-up Revolution newtrals palette, throwing in an Estée Lauder double wear foundation and topping it with the Fenty Stunna lip because Fenty is the life!

While other girls worry about how much followers they can get on IG,

I sit in my favorite spot, in my room, hoarding pins on Pinterest, creating interesting, attractive boards, following insightful accounts and growing followers.

Wondering if I will get new quotes to save, new memes to tag my friends in on Facebook, words that touch my heart to save on IG & studyblrs to follow on Tumblr

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do much studying. I only follow them to give myself the illusion of trying to be a model student

Where as others of my gender are in love, all about real boys,
I am here, lying on my bed, daydreaming of meeting a Christian Grey look-alike,

Not only in looks but in deeds too, with a slight difference, who will fall for me so hard, will be all about me, who will set up a library for me, designed and furnished to my taste and filled with books I love as well as a well-stocked ultra modern kitchen designed with my name on it, because food is important too.

Don’t judge, I am all for independence but there’s no way I will refuse my man doing things for me

It’s hard being me cos I love Love, and seeing people in love is a beautiful thing but I am too scared to try it out again myself.
Yeah I know. I am a coward but I already told you

It’s tough being me.

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